You were my new dream.

"Sometimes you’re 23 and standing in the kitchen of your house making breakfast and brewing coffee and listening to music that for some reason is really getting to your heart. You’re just standing there thinking about going to work and picking up your dry cleaning. And also more exciting things like books you’re reading and trips you plan on taking and relationships that are springing into existence. Or fading from your memory, which is far less exciting. And suddenly you just don’t feel at home in your skin or in your house and you just want home but “Mom’s” probably wouldn’t feel like home anymore either. There used to be the comfort of a number in your phone and ears that listened everyday and arms that were never for anyone else. But just to calm you down when you started feeling trapped in a five-minute period where nostalgia is too much and thoughts of this person you are feel foreign. When you realize that you’ll never be this young again but this is the first time you’ve ever been this old. When you can’t remember how you got from sixteen to here and all the same feel like sixteen is just as much of a stranger to you now. The song is over. The coffee’s done. You’re going to breath in and out. You’re going to be fine in about five minutes."
2014

Everyone is always saying, “New year, new me.” Why? Why have a new “you” when you’re already at your best?

I get that we all have skeletons in our closets that we would like to erase, and that we have mistakes that we would like to forget ever happened. But why? In reality, those are what makes us us. We wouldn’t be who we are today without them, and, with a new year, we have the ability to thrive off those skeletons and mistakes and understand that you don’t need to forget about them. We realize that we can live with them, grow with them, until they’re almost completely gone. Why? Because they become a part of our souls.

That is one of the most beautiful things about our lives. We are able to overcome so much in so little time by just accepting who we are. Yes, buying a new gym membership to get in shape and lose those few extra pounds we put on is nice. But, in the long run, all we really need out of this new year is acceptance. Acceptance of who we truly are, ghosts, skeletons, mistakes, and all.

So, my resolution isn’t a new me. Just me as I am, faults and all.